


And the train was deemed safe...

by The_random_Ravenclaw



Category: The Bifrost Incident - The Mechanisms (Album), The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, It's space train time, Manipulation, Odin was shitty even before she turned eldritch, Swearing, The Ratatosk Express - Freeform, Threats, a hopefully historically accurate use of old norse rune magic, aka nerdery, brief magic torture, contrary to what the tags might make you believe this was supposed to be funny, with emphasis on brief and not very graphic either
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:07:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28097409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_random_Ravenclaw/pseuds/The_random_Ravenclaw
Summary: “Is the train supposed to be glowing like that?” The golden surface shimmered faintly in the colours of the rainbow. Great, something weird was already going on and they hadn’t even gone inside yet.AKA the fic where I asked myself the question of how the fuck the Ratatosk Express was deemed safe, considering it has no engine.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	And the train was deemed safe...

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, it's train time! There hasn't been nearly enough discussion in this fandom (as far as I know) about the lines "All the tests were passed with quite literal flying colours and the train was deemed safe" considering it's an apocalypse train fueled by blood sacrifice. This is my take on how it happened, including some hcs about the glyphs and sigils in the engine room that I invented and became way too invested in while writing this. Enjoy!

“Is the train supposed to glow like that?” Embla asked. She was an engineer at the Asgardian Transport Authority (ATA) and had been assigned the prestigious task of performing the safety tests on Lady Odin’s space train, the Ratatosk Express. 

The project had been going on for decades and it was probably the most ambitious science project in Asgard to date, at least if you counted the construction of a rainbow wormhole through space and time as part of it. But now the train was finally finished and the only thing left before the launch were a few safety tests. 

How the train and wormhole actually worked was strictly kept under lock and key. Only a small team of Odin’s most trusted scientists and engineers had been allowed to work on the train, and they’d had to sign a lot of SNDAs (space NDAs) before being allowed on site. That didn’t affect the fact that any means of transportation operating in and around Asgard had to pass a brief safety check by ATA first.

Embla had been assigned to perform the safety check on the train itself since the higher ranking officials at ATA didn’t want to deal with Odin. It was no secret that most people in Asgard thought their ruler was at least somewhat unhinged, bordering on scary and way too single-minded to be reasoned with. All in all very unpleasant to deal with. It didn’t help that she was the kind of ruler that wouldn’t hesitate to destroy the lives of or execute people who displeased her. 

That was how Embla found herself following Odin towards the mysterious train on a cloudy Wednesday evening. One of Odin’s conditions for actually allowing an inspection of the train was that the employee would be coming there alone, which gave Embla a bad feeling, but she didn’t exactly have room to argue. 

At least she wouldn’t have to safety test the Bifrost or the way the train would interact with it. There weren’t as many standard regulations regarding space-time wormholes as there were for trains, so she was happy to not have to deal with that. 

Her bag was filled with different kinds of measuring equipment and she carried a clipboard with a checklist that would hopefully be filled in without complaint by the end of the night. Embla wasn’t sure what the Allmother would do to her if the train didn’t pass the tests. Speaking of Odin, she hadn’t answered her question yet so Embla tried again.

“Is the train supposed to be glowing like that?” The golden surface shimmered faintly in the colours of the rainbow. Great, something weird was already going on and they hadn’t even gone inside yet.

“Yes it is, a scientific marvel, don’t you agree? It is beautiful.”

What was she supposed to respond to that? She decided to ignore it and try to get a straight answer. “What purpose does it serve?” Hopefully there would be a normal reason for the train to be glowing.

“It’s just the way this magnificent train is built. The most beautiful engine in all of Asgardian history must be looking the part,” Lady Odin said, a dreaming expression on her face. 

That didn’t answer anything at all, it just raised more concerns. Embla was starting to give the rumours about how Lady Odin was slowly losing her mind with age a lot more credit than before. This inspection would be much harder than she thought if Lady Odin would just talk about how much she loved that train instead of answering her questions. 

Wait, what if Lady Odin was in love with the train? She swiftly cut off that train (hah) of thought, she was supposed to be professional now. There were more pressing concerns, like what if the glowing was dangerous?

“I still need to perform a radioactivity test to see if it’s safe,” she said and started pulling the Geiger counter out of her bag. “It’s standard to perform such tests on any mysteriously glowing things.” It actually wasn’t, but Embla wanted to be sure that it was safe to even be in the vicinity of the train before continuing the inspection.

“Go ahead, I’ll wait for you” Odin then walked up to the train itself and began to admire the bismuth details on the closest carriage, almost as if transfixed by the swirls. Embla thought it was weird, but started to measure the radioactivity levels instead of saying anything. She wasn’t going to question the ruler of Asgard any more than she needed to, at least not out loud.

The Geiger counter beeped and displayed signs of radiation levels that were a little bit higher than allowed. She sighed, the job had barely begun and there were already problems. She should’ve known that this wouldn’t go smoothly what with all the secrecy surrounding the project. At least this much radiation wasn’t dangerous unless you were exposed to it for a long time.

“Lady Odin?”

“Yes, are you finished? She seemed a bit lost in thought, her one eye still fixed on the carriage.

“I am, but there’s a problem. The radiation levels are too high, not by much, but I can’t approve of the train if that’s not fixed.” 

Fixing a radiation issue like this would probably entail changing the entire plating of the carriages, which would likely affect how it interacted with the Bifrost. It would probably take lots of science to figure out a solution and be both expensive as well as taking a lot of time. Embla didn’t look forward to Odin’s reaction.

“What did you just say?” At once Odin was back to the present. She was staring down at Embla with a piercing glare.

“I… I said that I can’t approve of the train unless you do something about the radiation levels,” she said, speeding up a bit at the end out of nervousness. “They’re too high” she added when Odin continued to stare at her expectantly. 

It was terrifying to speak up to someone she knew wouldn’t hesitate to ruin her life if she didn’t get what she wanted. What came to mind were all the defunded projects and underpaid government workers caused by tax money being relocated to the Ratatosk project instead. Odin would do anything to get this train going.

“Is this excess amount of radiation fatal?” Odin asked her, voice cold as ice. She must’ve realised what an ordeal it would be to rebuild the train.

“No,” she started, “This much is only dangerous if you’re exposed to it for a long time, but-” She was then cut off by Odin, who waved her hand dismissively.

“Then there’s no problem, is it? Unless you actually _want_ to lose your job?” The underlying threat felt like a bucket of cold water being poured over her head. She’d hoped to last longer than this before Lady Odin resorted to threats. This must be violating several workplace environment regulations, Embla thought, but that wouldn’t help her get out of the situation. Odin had just proved she didn’t care for safety regulations at all.

“No… no problem at all,” she stammered out. She needed this job to afford both her own living and provide for her aging fathers. If word came out that the Allmother didn’t like her the chances of being employed elsewhere with decent pay would sink dramatically. The radiation was a small issue anyways and would probably not cause any harm. Probably.

“Good. Shall we continue then?”

It was clear that this was the final word on the issue. Embla nodded and they walked towards the tracks to inspect them.

* * *

The standard tests and measurement of the tracks, wheels, brakes and signal system went without complaint, but Embla couldn’t shake the feeling that something was very wrong with this train. The measurements and tests didn’t go wrong per se, but the results were all a little weird, close to what they should be but a little off. Not enough that it was unsafe or violated any rules, just enough to leave her unsettled. 

While walking the corridors of the train, Embla took note of the extreme luxury, with lavish compartments and gilded walls. She privately thought it was a bit excessive, bordering on being an eyesore, but she certainly wasn’t mentioning that to Odin. 

After a while there were only two things left to do, examining the engine and going over the emergency routines in case the train needed to evacuate. She decided to leave the engine to last and sat down on a bench in Odin’s personal observation deck, which was where they were right then. 

The view of the Bifrost’s swirling colours through the wide windows was bound to be spectacular, but right now the only thing you could see was a big, dark hall filled with random machines and train parts. 

“There’s a few things we need to go over, about evacuation protocols, emergency situations and such.” It was best to rip off the figurative plaster as soon as possible, because there were bound to be complications. She hadn’t seen a single sign marking the closest way to an emergency exit, even though she’d seen the entire train, save for the front most cabin and the engine room, and with the way Odin talked earlier she doubted that the passengers’ safety was a priority.

“Go ahead” Odin sat down beside her. She was calm, which Embla was grateful for considering the earlier threats.

“First of all, do you have a black box somewhere?” That was the easiest question.

“No, do I need one?” Odin said, still calm. Maybe this was going to go okay. “I suppose it wouldn’t be much trouble to get one”

“That would be perfect, thank you” One thing done then. At least they would know what happened if (when) something went wrong. She took another relaxing breath before continuing. 

“So, I’ve noticed a lack of signs marking the way to emergency exits, it would be great if you could put up some of those. You’ll also need to show me an evacuation plan in case of an emergency, including how the passengers will exit the Bifrost safely.” There, it was said. She very much doubted Odin had one of those plans.

“Why would I need contingency plan? Everything will go exactly as planned. There will be no need to evacuate the train.” Odin had raised her voice slightly and sounded affronted, almost as if it had been a personal attack, not just a routine question.

Just as expected then, there was no plan. Embla really didn’t like the way that was phrased though, almost as if the entire point was that something would go wrong. The bad feeling she’d had ever since she first saw the glowing train intensified. She swallowed down the lump that was forming in her throat as she spoke up again.

“You need to have a plan in place regardless of how sure you are that nothing will go wrong.”

“Would putting up signs above the doors be enough to make you stop nagging me about safety?” Odin spat out the last word as if it was an insult, not the entire point of Embla being there in the first place. “This is so much bigger than you will ever understand, the way to our future goes along these tracks and I can’t let your pointless regulations stand in the way of destiny.” Odin stood up from the bench and looked down at her, probably to look as dramatic as possible. Fuck, this was getting out of hand. 

“My lady, even if people can get out of the train there is no guarantee that they will survive inside the Bifrost. I cannot stand by and allow people to die in case something goes wrong. You aren’t above the laws just because you’re ruling Asgard.” Embla raised her voice as she spoke. She was so done with Lady Odin’s bullshit and just wanted to get out of here. 

“Are you sure about that?” Odin asked, a smug smile spreading on her face. “Remember what I said earlier? It would be such a shame if you lost your job after all, how would you support your fathers otherwise? I am the ruler of this world after all, and you are nothing to me except for an obstacle in the way of my destiny.”

How the fuck did Odin know about her personal life? There was no point in mulling over that right now though, Odin was right. Had it just been her own living on the line she’d be fine with living on a little less if it would mean potentially saving all the passengers. But when her fathers’ livelihood was on the line too? She wouldn’t risk it. 

Maybe she was just overreacting, maybe there wasn’t going to be an accident after all (she knew she wasn’t overreacting, Odin’s spiel earlier had convinced her that something was about to go very, very wrong). The right thing would be to stand her ground, but in the end she was selfish.

“On second thought, emergency signs over the doors will be enough,” Embla said, less steady on the voice than before.

“Good, I knew you would see reason after all,” Odin said triumphantly. Gods, what an asshole she was. “Shall we continue to the engine room then?”

“Yes please” Embla couldn’t wait for this to be over. But, she thought, the hard part was done now, the engine would probably be normal and she’d be on her way in no time and could move on with her life. Maybe she could find a way to involve more people and prevent Odin from whatever she was going to do. Just the engine left, then it would be over.

* * *

What the fuck? was the only thing Embla’s brain could conjure as the door to the ‘engine’ room opened. She’d been stupid to think this would be the easy part. Apparently, the ‘engine’ room was the weirdest thing among the weird things aboard the Ratatosk express. She deeply regretted ever agreeing to so this inspection.

There was no engine in there, just some sort of silver table in the middle of the room, maybe an altar. The walls of the chamber were covered in machinery, probably controlling the small tubes and feed lines that lined it and led to the table in the middle. Definitely an altar then. She had a nasty feeling that they were supposed to be filled with blood.

Parts of the walls were covered in some kind of writing and different symbols, maybe some kind of rungaldrar. About two thirds of them were shimmering faintly with rainbow, much like the outside of the train. 

Normal rungaldrar were powerful symbols used when performing spells, but Embla had never seen any looking quite like this. Rungaldrar weren’t only used for protection, help with childbirth and suchlike though, there were also rungaldrar for more evil purposes, like cursing your enemies. It was known that Lady Odin was a master of runes, both for writing and magic purposes, so it was likely she was the one to put them there and that nothing good would come out of it.

It was clear to Embla that whatever would happen in this room and to the train itself was going to be Bad. In whatever way this ‘engine’ would power the train, nothing good could come out of it. Was this maybe the room where Odin sacrificed poor engineers from the ATA who inconvenienced her, such as Embla herself? No, she wasn’t going to go down that rabbit hole. Instead she turned to confront Odin.

“What is this?”

Odin just smiled and turned towards her. “It’s the future. Can’t you hear how the void calls? It sings to me. This train will bring us to our destiny and it will be glorious. I do not know exactly what will happen when it does, but I know that science alone cannot bring us where we need to go. This-” Odin gestured vaguely at the walls, her smile now maniac, “-is what will make it possible.”

Great, another non-answer. It was clear that Odin was a lot more unhinged than Embla previously thought. Nevertheless, she was dangerous too. If Embla let the train pass the test almost the entire asgardian government would be on the first voyage. She had to stop this, whatever it was, from happening. So what if she lost her job in the process? This was so much bigger than herself.

“I won’t sign the papers. I’m pretty sure this goes against every safety regulation there is and even if it makes the train move something is bound to go wrong. This train will never be approved and it will never travel to Midgard. I don’t care if I lose my job over this, I won’t sign.” She clenched her fists and stared into Odin’s one eye. She wouldn’t back down.

“Oh I think you will” Odin let out a short laugh before continuing, her voice dripping with smugness. “I have placed a galder on your person, which will unleash a nasty curse if activated. A curse that will cause you to die slowly and painfully. As I’m sure you’re aware, I can activate it whenever I want, just by singing a short rune verse. Sign the papers and let my train pass the tests or you will regret it dearly.”

Fuck, if Odin was telling the truth she was screwed. But what if she was just bluffing? Odin was skilled with rungaldrar, but Embla surely would’ve noticed her placing an object with a carved galder somewhere, wouldn’t she? Odin had gotten her way with threats earlier, so it only made sense to believe this was just a trick, right? (At the very least she didn’t want to entertain the thought of what would happen if it wasn’t a trick).

“How do I know you aren’t bluffing? I refuse to sign the papers because of some baseless threat,” Embla said with as much confidence as she could muster. Please let this be nothing more than a threat.

“Have it your way then.” At that Odin started to sing the rune verse that would activate the spell. The verse was in a language Embla recognised as an older version of the language they spoke, but she couldn’t understand what it meant. Honestly, she wasn’t even trying to understand it since she was otherwise occupied by panicking. 

Indescribable pain hit her as Odin stopped singing. Once, Embla had thought that the most painful experience of her life would be that time she fell out of a tree as a child and broke several bones. She’d never thought she could ever experience, or even imagine, anything more painful, but this was a hundred times worse. All her nerve endings screamed in pain, like needles stabbing her all over.

Embla fell to the floor with a cry of pain and curled up in a foetal position, trying to get some relief, but it was unsuccessful. A particularly gruesome stab of pain hit her and she let out a gasp. She’d do anything to make this stop. As if reading her mind, Odin spoke again.

“There is of course a way to negate the effects of the galder, as there always is. I will tell you how if you agree to sign the papers for me.”

Embla managed to choke out a broken yes. Anything to get out of this pain as quickly as possible.

“In this case, what you have to do is to sign the papers. That way you won’t be able to get out of the deal. The pain will lessen a bit when you start signing so that it won’t affect your handwriting.” Odin said proudly and handed her the paper and pen. Embla could swear that she took more time than she needed to. “I’m actually really proud of this one, it took me a while to come up with. It’s proven to be very useful in negotiations.”

Embla painstakingly sat up and took the clipboard, ignoring Odin’s bragging. At first it was hard to move since every muscle movement sent a jolt of even more pain through her body, but once she put the pen to the paper, it lessened and she managed to write her signature without shaking too much. 

At once everything stopped hurting. Embla laid down on the floor and took a few deep breaths to collect herself. She’d rather stay on the floor forever, or at least until her heart rate was back to normal, but she had to get out of this wretched train as soon as possible. There was no way she’d be able to calm down and relax if she was in close proximity of Odin.

“Is this everything you wanted?” she shouted in an unexpected bout of energy, not caring about Odin’s opinion anymore. “Are you done with making me complicit in whatever you’re planning to do with this train so I can leave?”

“Yes I am. Although you may want to remove the small stone with the galder on it from your left jacket pocket before you leave,” Odin said, her voice distant again, but it turned sharp as she turned towards Embla and continued. “If you speak a word about what happened here to anyone, rest assured that I will find a way to make you suffer even worse than you just did. Nothing out of the ordinary happened during this inspection and the train passed the tests with flying colours.”

“O-okay” Embla stammered out as she slowly stood up. She put her hand in her left pocket and sure enough, it closed around a small black stone with complex carvings on one side. She barely looked at it before throwing it on the ground before Odin, then turned around and left, still clutching the clipboard with the filled in and signed safety papers.

Maybe she’d doomed the passengers who’d be on that first trip through the Bifrost, but there’d be time for that guilt later. As for now, Embla was mostly happy that she wasn’t important enough to go herself. She’d turn in the papers and then go home to rest. Everything else could wait until tomorrow.

And so, the Ratatosk Express was officially deemed safe.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you liked it! If you did, please consider leaving kudos or comments, and I will love you forever.
> 
> Fun fact (aka rune nerdery time), rungaldrar are a real thing that were used in Scandinavia (I decided to use the swedish word since I couldn't find a translation). They were powerful symbols consisting of combinations of normal writing runes, often arranged to look more like a symbol. They could be used for good, like protection, but also evil, although it was said that if you knew way too much about them you'd fall to dark magic. They were mostly used kind of like what Odin did to Embla, you draw the galder either on yourself with a body fluid or carve/paint it on an item secretly placed on the person you were cursing (if you did that). Idk if you could put them on items such as trains, but I love the hc too much to care. The galder must be "activated" or "opened" to let out the magic force, which was done by reciting/singing a rune song/poem/verse with a shrill voice, in which you put emphasis on where the galder was placed and what your intentions were. There were also always a way to negate the effects of the galder's magic. Normal writing runes were also kind of associated with magic, but they were mostly used as a normal alphabet, at least until the church's latin letters took over. Odin is closely associated with runes, both in writing and magic ways. He was the one who "found" the runes in norse mythology by sacrificing himself for nine days and knew a lot about rungaldrar according to the Edda. That's why I thought it was fitting to make the "glyps and sigils" rungaldrar instead and now you can't convince me it's not rungaldrar. The in-universe Mechs either didn't know what the rungaldrar were, so they interpreted them as "glyphs and sigils", or they decided to simplify it because most people don't.
> 
> If you're wondering why I know this I found out about rungaldrar while reading a book on runes for an upcoming project in which I will write some parts from TBI in runes. If you're interested in either that, [crocheted mechs](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/therandomravenclw/search/the+crochetchanisms) or just want to say hello you should check out my tumblr [@therandomravenclw](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/therandomravenclw)
> 
> And a sincere thanks if you read through all my nerdery, I hope it was comprehensible and interesting to someone other than myself


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